Signs of “smiling depression”

When you think of someone suffering from depression, you will probably think of someone who is too depressed to get out of bed; someone who cries all the time for no particular reason; someone who is lethargic or irritable. What you probably don’t think of is someone who is smiling, confident, successful, or very energetic. But you may not have heard of the lesser-known but very real problem of “smile depression.”

“Smiling depression is also known as ‘high-functioning depression,'” says Dr. Lynda Foulder-Hughes, psychotherapist, member of the Counseling Directory, and author of REMIND The Prescription for Happiness, Success, and Fulful in Life. “If a person has smiling depression, they may appear on the surface confident, capable and ‘happy,’ and will not outwardly show the typical signs that people normally associate with those who are depressed.”

This is why the term “smiling depression” is used. “A key characteristic is that they can ‘mask’ their symptoms well and often smile or laugh even when experiencing excruciating inner pain and sadness,” she says. “So they often don’t seem ‘sad’.”

Unlike other forms of depression, high-functioning depression is not a formal medical diagnosis. “However, affected individuals will experience many of the same emotional and behavioral reactions as those who have been formally diagnosed with depressive disorder,” she says.

Often, those around a person with this illness will not notice that anything is wrong. “In fact, even those with smiling depression may think there is nothing ‘wrong’ because they continue to fulfill their daily commitments,” she continues. “Sometimes living with depressive symptoms becomes normal, so that the person suffering from them cannot recognize that they are in crisis. On the surface, things look pretty smooth, but underneath, we’re often paddling frantically just to stay afloat.

It is therefore essential that we all become more aware of this. “We need to check in with those around us, especially those who seem to be able to ‘do it all’, and ask them how they really feel,” says Hannah Abrahams, a registered psychologist at the Soke Clinic.

“In my experience, these individuals have become so adept at appearing successful to their outside world and community, that the idea of ​​letting the mask slip even slightly can be truly terrifying. Thus, the need to create a supportive space becomes increasingly important.

Signs of “smiling depression”

It can be very difficult to detect smiling depression, but there are often small signs.

“For example, a cheerful person with depression may spend the entire week as a high achiever, but by the weekend they are so exhausted that they can’t get out of bed and enjoy their days off,” explains Dr. Foulder-Hughes. “Alternatively, they might continue to make huge commitments and never say no to the added demands of caring for others, while neglecting themselves in the process. »

Other symptoms may include the typical signs of depression, even if you don’t display them outwardly.

“Feeling hopeless, sad, unable to feel pleasure or joy in previously enjoyable activities, helplessness and isolation all indicate depression. » she said. “There may also be changes in sleep patterns, such as an inability to fall or stay asleep, sleeping too much, and waking up often at night or early in the morning. Or you might have difficulty concentrating.

“Eating habits are often affected, with the person eating comfortably, to fill a feeling of emptiness, or having little or no appetite.”

You may notice perfectionistic tendencies. “People with smiling depression tend to need to keep everything presentable and tidy on the outside, for fear that if it cracks or changes, the person’s vulnerability will become apparent,” says Abrahams. “There may also be signs of emotional dysregulation: when a person becomes angry quickly or becomes frustrated. This is often because a person’s emotional needs are not being met. Erratic and sometimes more manic behavior is part of an avoidance, and therefore survival, strategy.

Finally, pay attention to your self-talk. “Typically, a person with smiling depression will have a constant stream of negative inner thoughts about themselves, which contradicts the confident and competent outer persona they are trying to portray,” says Dr. Foulder-Hughes.

Eight Ways to Cope with Smiling Depression

It takes a lot of effort and energy to pretend everything is okay when it isn’t.

“At some point, most people with smiling depression will reach a turning point, where things start to become overwhelming and they feel like they can no longer cope,” warns Dr. Foulder-Hughes. “However, there are some things that can help before crisis point reaches.”

Here, she outlines eight key tips:

Keep a routine

“It is essential to establish a good daily routine where healthy sleep habits are followed. Sleep is the foundation of overall health and is often one of the first things to change in people with smiling depression.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day so you don’t spend too much time in bed and get restful sleep. Get up as soon as you wake up, make your bed (to avoid the temptation to come in), open your bedroom window (allowing connection with the outside world), then take a shower or wash (the change in body temperature helps to improve mood).”

Exercise

“Movement should be part of your daily routine. No matter how small, exercise improves mood and increases energy levels. If possible, try to exercise in the morning. The main thing is that it is pleasant and accessible. For example, put on your favorite music and dance – the exercise doesn’t have to be difficult to do and will improve your mood.

Practice some kind of mindfulness

“Mindfulness is focused attention on the present moment and is a proven way to help depressed people enjoy life as it happens and appreciate the little things. For example, noticing things that make you laugh and fully focusing on laughter when you experience it.

Put yourself first

“Invest in yourself by learning to meet your needs first. Treat yourself with compassion. Make sure you plan enjoyable activities each day, just for you. Even the smallest things that bring you joy, like sipping your favorite coffee, can have a big impact on how you feel. Also invest in your learning and try new experiences. Say no to the things you don’t want to do and don’t feel guilty about prioritizing yourself.

Spend time with the right people

“Invest your time in people who matter to you and who you enjoy spending time with. Look closely at how people make you feel. Spend less time with those who drain you or make you feel unappreciated, and more time with those who bring you fun, laughter, and joy.

Get into nature

“Nature has a big impact on how you feel. Try to spend as much time as possible outside, in all weathers and throughout the year, experiencing the different seasons. For example, even a short walk in a local park surrounded by nature can really improve your mood.

Eat well

“Diet and how you consume your food and drinks is extremely important when dealing with smiling depression. Make sure you eat regular meals every day, seated at a table, using your best dishes and glasses. How you present your food and drinks is important to how you enjoy them. Consume your food and drinks mindfully so you pay attention to taste, smell, texture, etc. to savor every bite.

Ask for help

“Recognize when you are having difficulty and contact your doctor or mental health professional before you reach a crisis point. »