The Thing: Remastered is the definitive take on 2002’s most underrated horror comedy

The Thing (2002) was never a very scary video game. Sure, the low-detail graphics were much scarier over 20 years ago, and they contain some effective jump scares, but overall Computer Artworks’ adaptation sequel was, above all, goofy. Nightdive Studios’ The Thing: Remastered hasn’t changed that.

This does not detract from the work done by the original studio on the game. Quite the contrary. In fact, I believe John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) is so great in part because of its ability to be simultaneously terrifying, gross, and just plain funny. As hard as the team tried, The Thing (as a concept) couldn’t really be very scary after that first film; because it all rested in some way on an element of surprise which had disappeared at the end. The 2011 precedent was proof that retracing the same steps was an essentially stupid approach and doomed to failure.

Computer Artworks’ game, now delightfully recreated and enhanced by Nightdive (whose recent remastering efforts have all been killer), went in the opposite direction: making the whole thing bigger and louder. This is what I like to call the “Aliens approach” to sequels. The element of surprise is gone and you can’t really replicate the original feeling of fear, so have fun with it and change the genre a bit.

At the center of The Thing (video game) is a rather archaic team system that becomes the highlight and most unique feature of the experience the more you play. A group of soldiers visit Antarctic outposts besieged by otherworldly horror shortly after the events of the original film. Most of them are replaceable, as they can die in the middle of missions from enemy damage or your own bullshit. The worst/best part of all this? You can essentially “soft lock” if you lose an engineer at certain points in a level, as they are the only ones who can really fix certain broken devices/doors.

As a direct result, The Thing can be quite tense even if it isn’t. scary. Ally AI wasn’t the best and hasn’t seen much improvement, but these digital friends are effective enough to completely destroy reanimated limbs and other monstrosities. Basically, just make sure to keep them stocked with ammo and be aware of their location, especially in narrow hallways and messy rooms.

Aside from the cutscenes, there isn’t much writing for these replaceable characters, which is why you’ll hear a lot of barking that repeats over and over again. When that’s combined with their rather predictable reactions to the cold (there’s a whole mechanism built around it), the alien horrors, and your shaky aim, comedy ensues. Plus, they like to vomit when they’re feeling a little stressed, so they might say “I’m fine” and immediately throw up their entire stomach because “I’m fine” doesn’t 100% mean they were. good and elegant. Try not to laugh, I dare you.

Likewise, get into a big fight with “things” of all types and sizes and your allies are bound to be a little too hurt by the nightmarish packs of enemies. Maybe they didn’t fall in battle, but it’s likely that they are infected and ready to transform after you heal them and hear a positive remark from them. Mind you, the old scripted transformations that directly collided with the blood testing system aren’t a thing in the remaster, but you can still lose these guys right after you thought they were perfectly fine because it was just the game that spit out random barks. This is kind of hilarious stuff. Keep your flamethrower well-fed and within reach.

Last but not least, I would like to point out that looking through windows (both inside buildings and at the snowy exterior) can give you some comedic gold like the moment in the clip below. Some “things” simply wander around the area until you trigger their aggro. Meanwhile, some lost NPCs are waiting for you to pass in a warehouse, but you can see them sitting there while you frantically search for an open door. That’s what PS2/Xbox era games are for. That’s the thing.

While younger players might have a harder time adjusting to the bullshit inherent in rusty AA games of old, veterans like me find it all charming. The fact that Nightdive so perfectly added to the lighting and texture work throughout the game, while ironing out some of the rough edges (like the aforementioned blood test phenomenon) doesn’t negate the fact that The Thing is really funny in first. and above all. This is the kind of thing that could have been completely erased by a full-fledged remake. Instead, we were given a great way to replay the same game you remember fighting and laughing about.

The Thing: Remastered is now available on PS4/5, Xbox One/Series, Nintendo Switch and PC via Steam and GOG.