What’s done is done — Nahrizul Adib Kadri

DECEMBER 26 — As the year 2024 draws to a close, for a number of people, a familiar feeling hangs in the air: a mix of celebration and regret. For every joyful message about accomplishments and milestones reached, there is an equal, often unspoken feeling of guilt. The resolutions we set in January seem like unfinished homework that we promised to complete but never did. The “love handles” around the waist that haven’t been let go, the books that haven’t been read, the habits that have never really stuck – all of these appear larger and larger as the year is coming to an end.

But here’s a truth worth remembering: what’s done is done. And above all, what is not done is also done.

It’s easy to look back and see everything you could have done differently. Maybe you should have worked harder, planned better, or started earlier. But replaying the past like a broken record doesn’t change anything. All it does is trap you in a loop of regret and self-blame.

Take Frodo from Lord of the Rings. At one point in his journey, he laments the burden of carrying the One Ring, wishing he did not have to face such a monumental task. Gandalf’s response is as wise as it is comforting: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time we have.” »

The same applies to us. What’s done is done. What is not done is also done. The question remains: what will you do with the time that awaits you?

The myth of a “perfect” year

Let’s debunk a common myth here and now: no one has a “perfect” year. Not even the most disciplined, organized, or seemingly successful people. Life is not a smooth, linear journey; it’s complicated and unpredictable. There are setbacks, distractions, and moments of pure exhaustion.

Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, once said, “I missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I lost almost 300 matches. Twenty-six times I was trusted to make the game-winning shot and I missed it. I have failed over and over again in my life. And that’s why I’m successful.

If someone like Jordan could embrace failure as part of the process, why couldn’t we? A failed resolution is not a failure; it reminds us that progress is rarely a straight line.

So let’s go back to January 2024. What was the resolution that meant the most to you? Was it to improve your health (stop smoking?), learn a new skill (learn to swim?), or spend more time with your loved ones (especially your youngest)? Now ask yourself: why is this important? Often, it is not the resolution itself but the reason behind it that holds the true value.

For example, if your goal was to exercise regularly, the deeper reason might have been to feel healthier, more energetic, and more capable. Even if you haven’t reached your goal, you can still pursue these feelings in the coming year, starting now. The calendar may say it’s late December, but the truth is that the right time to start is always now.

Rumi the poet once wrote: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And don’t worry if your life turns upside down. How do you know the side you’re used to is better than the one to come?

A new beginning

As 2024 draws to a close, it’s tempting to view unfulfilled resolutions as failures. But what if these are just unfinished stories? What if they waited for new chapters to be written in 2025? Instead of carrying the weight of unmet goals into the new year, close the chapter. Accept what is done, learn from it and move forward.

Here’s what I suggest: take a moment to think, don’t regret. Write down three things you’re proud of this year, no matter how small. Next, write down one thing you want to focus on in 2025 – not five or ten, just one.

Let this be your starting point. You don’t need a perfect plan or great resolution. You just need to be willing to take a small step forward.

So, if you’re reading this and feeling the weight of left-behind 2024 resolutions, know this: you’re not alone, nor behind. Life is not measured by the resolutions you religiously check off one by one, but by the courage you show by starting again. Remember, what’s done is done.

And that’s okay.

* Nahrizul Adib Kadri is Associate Professor of Biomedical Engineering and Principal of Residential College Ibnu Sina, Universiti Malaya. It can be attached to (email protected)

**This is the personal opinion of the author and does not necessarily represent the views of Malaysian mail.