Jaleel White says death of his former co-star Jonathan Brandis made him want to quit acting

There’s no business like show business, but a tragic death in Jaleel White’s professional life almost threw him off course.

The actor and “Family Matters” alum reflected on the death of his former co-star Jonathan Brandis in his new memoir “Growing Up Urkel.” White and Brandis both participated in a television pilot for the 2003 drama series “111 Gramercy Park.”

The show, starring Frank Langella, Peter Strauss and Tippi Hedren, revolved around the working lives of several housekeepers, nannies and maintenance workers employed at an apartment building in the affluent New York neighborhood, according to IMDb .

“I imagine Jonathan felt he needed this pilot to feed his soul,” White wrote in chapter 13 of his book “I Will Love You as Long as I Need You.”

“I’ve never had an actor ask me repeatedly about our pickup prospects like he did when we were filming ‘111 Gramercy Park.’ … It seemed to me that Jonathan, just like me, had arrived at another career crossroads and (the series) would have offered him a fair chance at leading man status,” he continues.

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Brandis, a former child star who starred in the early ’90s comedies “Ladybugs” and “Sidekicks,” died by suicide in November 2003. He was 27 years old.

“I looked at my computer screen, tears streaming down my face. I could only speculate about what Jonathan was going through at that moment,” White said of Brandis’ death. “Just like me, he had dedicated his entire life to achieving what Leonardo DiCaprio and the rest of his peer group had seemingly accomplished with ease.

“In my own way, I was the best-fit success story. I grew up in an industry that always told me I couldn’t match the level of success of Leo or Tobey Maguire and yet, I I had earned a lot of money for my living.

In a 2021 interview with People magazine, Brandis’ father Greg said his son’s death was not caused by his work in the entertainment industry, instead speculating that undiagnosed bipolar disorder may have could have contributed to his suicide. “I look back now, and in his 20s, he was showing signs of manic depression,” Greg said. “I hope anyone who is suffering can get help.”

White said Brandis’ death clouded his view of his own showbiz career. The actor recalls in his memoir telling his mother: “I want to get out. This business is killing people from the inside.”

Although White continued to work in the entertainment industry, he “cried for what felt like a fallen soldier” in his grief for Brandis.

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“Jonathan and I weren’t close at all when we were kids. But he and I always had a way of running into each other over and over again,” White said, adding that the two developed a friendship while filming “111 Gramercy Park” in Toronto.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Jaleel White reflects on the impact of co-star Jonathan Brandis’ death