My boss accuses me of not caring about their mental breakdown

Each week, Dr. Kirstin Ferguson addresses workplace, career, and leadership questions in her advice column “Got a Minute?” This week: a manager who shares too much, a bad work uniform and the diagnosis of an employee with ADHD.

During my annual performance review, my boss told me that their mental health was suffering and that they were on the “verge of a nervous breakdown.” I told them I was really sorry to hear that they weren’t feeling well and that I hoped they would get better soon. Since then, things have gotten worse. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my boss because they share too much. I keep things professional, making sure my boss is informed of everything I do in writing. My boss has now accused me of not asking them how they were doing. Do you have any idea on how I handle this situation?

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I recommend that you speak to a more senior person in your organization about what happened as soon as possible. Let them know everything, including what you observed with your boss. This is one of those situations that could turn serious quickly, so be sure to share what’s happening to someone in a position of power to take action, so your boss can receive the support they need, and also understand the position you occupy. put in.

This will probably be uncomfortable for you, but it’s in the best interest of your boss and the rest of your team. This information is not something you can ignore. Your boss using his mental health as a reason to reprimand you is unacceptable. If your boss’s behavior continues to get worse, it will be even more difficult for you to navigate.

We have a new work uniform consisting of a tight-fitting top with three-quarter sleeves and a tight elastic black skirt. It is only suitable for slim women. I’m overweight for various medical reasons and I don’t want to wear one either, especially the skirt. I wear black pants to work and the HR manager told me we all have to look the same and wear the skirt. I was in tears in her office, but she said the uniform was company policy and I had to wear it or there could be repercussions. Do I have legal reasons not to wear the tight skirt? I’m already very embarrassed.

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Do the men in your office also have to wear a tight black skirt? Or can they wear pants? Although employers can require you to wear a uniform, they cannot discriminate between genders. They also cannot indirectly discriminate, meaning forcing you to wear a uniform that has a discriminatory effect on a certain type of person (if your weight would be considered discriminatory in this sense you would need to ask Fair Work) . It is best to avoid the legal route and try to find a common sense solution.

It frustrates me to think that an HR manager would see one of their employees so upset and not seek a solution. Although your employer may require you to wear a uniform, clothing can be ordered in a range of different sizes, shapes and materials to best meet the wide range of employee needs. Have you looked at the policy the HR manager referred to? I assume it only says that employees must wear the company uniform; it is very unlikely that there is any reference to the specific tight skirt. Maybe even find out where uniforms are ordered, check out alternatives to the skirt, and suggest an alternative. There are probably others in your workplace who feel the same way, so find them and try to fight this madness together.