8 D/ST to start or sit – laparenthese-gourmande

There’s an old Jerry Seinfeld comedy routine based on wanting to go out and how people are obsessed with it. When you’re out you want to be home and when you’re home you want to go out. There really is no in-between.

The same can be true for seating arrangements. Overall, it’s just a chair. The only meaning of the chair is that which we attribute to it. As we gather around the Thanksgiving table this week, we will hopefully give thanks and spend some quality time as a family.

Yet there is still this ongoing debate about seats. Are you at the children’s table? The adults’ table? Are you sitting on the couch watching NFL action because there aren’t enough seats? Either way, these arrangements can make or break dinner. You don’t want to be next to the complainer, but rather the class clown.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we’re grateful for the “set it and forget it” defenses the league has to offer.

Either way, some teams end up at the kids’ table, while others are called to join the adults for a fantastic start. Hopefully they’re ready to pass the sauce. Here’s a look at four D/ST units to play and four to avoid, if you can.

NFL POWER RANKINGS: Where do the Chiefs land after the first loss? UPDATE WITH WEEK 13

Fantasy football starts them off: Week 13 D/ST

Dallas Cowboys (vs. New York Giants)

Has Dallas’ defense been a good fantasy option all season? No. Have they been good at home? Absolutely not. Will they score two touchdowns on special teams to increase their point total? No. Do we want some exposure against the lowly Giants? You better believe it.

Think of Dallas this week as the dish your family decided to try making for the holiday. It could be great or it could be terrible. Anyway, you will try it and you might like it.

The Cowboys are allowing opposing teams to score 37.4 points per game at home this season. However, the Giants bring the worst offense in the league to Dallas and, if Week 12 was any indication, it would take them weeks to reach that number. Fantasy football is often a game based on luck and a willingness to take risks. Everything indicates that the Cowboys cannot post a good D/ST number at home. However, you never get anywhere by playing it safe.

Kansas City Chiefs (vs. Las Vegas Raiders)

As the food coma ends and the bargain hunting begins, look no further than the NFL’s second annual Black Friday game. The Chiefs stand as one of the best deals of the day, giving fantasy managers elite upside on a fantasy defense. Gardner Minshew finished the season with a broken collarbone, leaving the Raiders with Desmond Ridder or, potentially, Aidan O’Connell if he is activated off IR.

Vegas gave Denver all it could handle in Week 12, but even that required a lot of trickery to keep the drives alive. The Chiefs will be ready and eager to avenge that Christmas loss from last season. Start them with confidence, then relax as you watch the action unfold on your new big screen.

Minnesota Vikings (vs. Arizona Cardinals)

At this point in the weekend, it’s officially holiday shopping season. That means the masses are looking for the hottest gift of 2024. The Vikings are that hot team this year, defying expectations and becoming a hot commodity. It wasn’t that long ago that people predicted that Minnesota would be in contention for a top draft pick. They now have the best fantasy defense and are facing the Cardinals.

We’ve seen the best of Kyler Murray this season, but Week 12 also brought us the worst. Murray struggled in November and December, winning just .344 of games in those months. With a blitz-heavy defense, we would expect Arizona’s quarterback to use his legs more often, but he hasn’t looked to do so lately either. Murray’s turnover potential makes starting the Vikings defense a no-brainer.

Houston Texans (vs. Jacksonville Jaguars)

The Jaguars are an offense worth targeting, as they once again move toward the No. 1 pick in the draft. It doesn’t matter if it’s Trevor Lawrence or Mac Jones, Jacksonville is a disaster. They have scored a total of 13 points in the last two games and that won’t inspire much confidence in their ability to turn things around. Doug Pederson is essentially playing a lame duck role as head coach, with a team that appears to have given up.

The Texans are coming off a disappointing loss to the Titans, so expect Houston to try to make a statement on Sunday. With three straight fantastic double-digit performances, the Texans are poised for another great day at the office.

Fantasy Football Sit’em: Week 13 D/ST

Green Bay Packers (vs. Miami Dolphins)

The Thanksgiving slate ends with a battle on the frozen tundra. Temperatures are expected to be around the 20s and low 30s at kickoff. This doesn’t bode well for the Phins, who generally don’t like the cold. However, Miami doesn’t have the luxury of worrying about the weather if they want to make the playoffs. Since the return of Tua Tagovailoa, the Dolphins have regained some of their mojo.

Green Bay’s defense hasn’t been setting the fantasy world on fire recently, only finding its way to a double-digit outing in Week 12 thanks to the Brandon Allen-led 49ers. With the Miami Athletics team coming to town, we should expect some fireworks on offense to celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

Pittsburgh Steelers (vs. Cincinnati Bengals)

Another week, another division game for the Steelers. This time it’s the Bengals, who are on fire offensively. Cincinnati is just 4-7, with a ton of work to do if they want to reach the playoffs. Entering Week 12, they became the only team to score 20+ points against the Chargers. They scored at least 34 points in the two games leading up to their Sunday night matchup in Los Angeles. Coming off a bye week, the Bengals will need some magic. Although the Steelers remain a solid fantasy defense, don’t tempt fate against this Cincinnati unit.

Philadelphia Eagles (vs. Baltimore Ravens)

Just like their neighbors in Pennsylvania, the Eagles also have a very good fantasy defense. Since their Week 5 bye, Philly has completely turned their season around. However, it’s not like they played the best offense the league has to offer during that span. The Ravens hope to keep pace in the AFC North, eager to pounce if the Steelers fail. Baltimore is averaging the second most points per game, behind the Lions. This will be the Eagles’ biggest test yet. They should be on your bench while we wait to see if they pass or fail.

San Francisco 49ers (at Buffalo Bills)

The 49ers are getting by this season on name recognition. At 5-6, they have an uphill battle to make the playoffs and will be without some of their big stars on defense. Injuries to players like Nick Bosa are starting to take their toll, with no help coming through that door. A cross-country trip to Buffalo won’t make life any easier. At full strength, the 49ers probably would have taken their place this week from a fantasy standpoint. Now there is no argument to remove them from the bench.

Fantasy Football, Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 13

Looking for more fantasy football advice? USA TODAY Sports has you covered:

→ Kickers Are People Too: Here are some of the most impactful kickers to have on your fantasy team in Week 13.

→ Need an edge under the center? Here are the best quarterback options to start and sit in Week 13.

→ A good ball carrier makes all the difference. A bad ball carrier can cost you a lot of points. Here’s who to start and who to sit in Week 13.

→ The wide receiver position has been decimated this season. Protect yourself in Week 13 with “Start ’em, Sit ’em” tips for wideouts.

→ Tight ends can be the perfect X-factor for any fantasy team. Here’s who you should start and sit in week 13.

→ Good defense can stop your fantasy opponent’s offense. Here are some D/ST options to get you started and get through week 13.