Silent tension: how anxiety sneakily manifests in the body and wreaks havoc

It’s always the little things. Those minor irritations, the little things we’re told not to sweat – a particular look or change in the tone of voice of someone making a simple statement that sows the seed of oppression that begins to grow in my shoulders. I never recognize the signs.

After years of dealing with what I now know to be anxiety, you’d think I’d be able to identify the beginning of this slow, creeping tension. My posture, which I perfected after years of yoga and Pilates, is changing into a rounded spine, which causes my upper back to sag. I start rubbing my neck. It’s tense.

I want to breathe deeply, but I can’t. I’m not in danger of running out of oxygen – I can breathe – but I can’t get air deep into my stomach, where there’s even more tightness. And my jaw. My jaw has always been where my life experiences take up space. I have been told that I clench my jaw when I concentrate and I know that I grind my teeth when I sleep.

My dentist told me that was why one of my fillings came loose. He made me a mouthguard to wear at night, although I always forget to use it.

If you asked me to imagine someone suffering from anxiety, I would imagine a person who bites their nails, someone who is afraid to make eye contact or express themselves, retreating into the safety of his own body.

Maybe this person is introverted, a homebody, and avoids social situations. I couldn’t be more opposed to this image. I’m outgoing and extroverted, often accused of being too loud sometimes. I don’t bite my nails and I always make eye contact when talking to people.

Social situations don’t worry me at all, although when tension takes over, I prefer to be at home. I prefer to be alone. I want space to sit quietly. Often I don’t even think. I just sit in silence.

I have written many stories about my chaotic childhood. I live like an open book and I don’t hide or sugarcoat my feelings about the past. Having left the past behind me, it never occurs to me that certain situations in the present affect me because of what I have seen, heard and experienced.

Anxiety leaves no time to think. The person I am today – free of this chaotic past – has made active choices to create a life as opposed to my upbringing as possible.

I married a wonderful man who would never abuse me or the children. I am not isolated from my friends or family. I try to keep my perspective on the little things and never let them turn into something too big to fix.

However, the tension is still there. Just like the invisible struggle in my stomach, which leaves me exhausted even though no one around me knows it.

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Connecting emotions to physical tension

I often tell my children to “read the room.” I want to teach them the importance of choosing the right time and place to discuss serious topics or make jokes.

Perhaps this lesson is too complex a concept for my children to understand. If I can’t explain where and why the tightness increases, how can they read it on my face?

It’s never the children’s fault. This I know. But when they collectively ambush me, all wanting to be heard at once, talking over each other and clawing at me for their moment of attention, I feel that tension.

It’s not my husband’s fault. This I know. But when I hear him raise his voice or see him carrying a larger mental load than usual, I notice my jaw clenches and my neck stiffens more than it did just a few minutes ago.

It’s not my client’s fault, I know. But when all their emails come in at once and I realize I’ve overdone it… often because of my own enthusiasm– my back is tense and shallow breathing takes over.

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The role of emotional repression in muscle pain

Recently, I desperately needed a visit to my physical therapist. My back and neck had been tense for days, then with a random movement… I’m probably looking for my coffee — I felt my spasm in my lower back.

I wasn’t immobilized, but what followed was a week of popping anti-inflammatory medications like candy, accompanied by lots of complaining and discomfort. During my appointment with my physical therapist, she asked me if I had been feeling more stressed lately.

After a 20-minute explanation of one of the most stressful and horrible weeks of my life, she explained to me that the tension in my body could probably be directly linked to my emotions. The More Good Days website explains:

The anxiety-related stress response can cause physical symptoms such as muscle tension, which can progress to chronic stiffness and back pain. Anxiety-related behaviors, such as posture changes and muscle tension, can make existing back pain worse. It’s as if the body is stuck in perpetual preparation with muscles tense and ready for action, causing long-lasting discomfort long after the stress has subsided.

Stress-related changes in breathing patterns and shoulder posture can cause tension and inflict pain, particularly in the mid and upper back regions. Such evidence shows how even the most basic actions can become entangled in the complex web of anxiety – affecting your physical health due to the consequences imposed on an overexcited nervous system that manifests as muscular tension in the body itself. even.

Discovering the connection between anxiety and my persistent back pain was a huge eye-opener, and this discovery inspired me to explore the connection in more detail.

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Explore specific areas of tension and their emotional causes

Although “stress” is the term usually used to describe muscle tension, there are deeper explanations for the stiffness felt in various parts of the body. Dr. Douglas Tataryn, Ph.D. (C.Psych), developed the Bio-Emotive framework. His research and clinical focus were centered about understanding how emotional processes affect the physical well-being of our bodies.

He found that muscle strains can often develop due to four main causes:

Social conditioning
Trauma
Psychological tension
Environmental Stressors and Habits

Although the effect of the mind on the body is not revolutionary, I was interested to discover that certain places in our body often harbor specific types of emotions. For example, shoulder tension is related to the burden of responsibilities, which often arise from social and emotional obligations. Neck tension results from issues with trust and communication, complicating issues with fear and self-expression.

Having recently experienced tension in my mid back, I was shocked to discover that the pain was linked to feelings of insecurity and helplessness, often due to a lack of support. At the same time, my lower back tension is associated with guilt, shame, and low self-esteem, while glute tension reflects repressed anger and rage.

My son recently complained of stomach aches before school, a time of day when I know he can become anxious. What I found most interesting is that tension in the stomach can signal difficulty processing emotions, leading to physical discomfort. After reading Physical Issues, I gained a clearer understanding of how current situations affect me due to specific feelings that I have tried so hard to repress or leave in the past.

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Treat Triggers and Symptoms

My shoulders tense as my family responsibilities begin to feel overwhelming. My upper and middle back hurts when I choose not to react or respond to my family’s emotions when they become too many to handle.

My tight glutes and stomach are a direct testament to my repression of my true emotions – because sometimes it’s better to pick your fights or say nothing to keep the peace. As I delved deeper into this rabbit hole, I better understood why little things manifest as tightness in my body. However, like many of us who suffer from chronic anxiety, discovering ways to manage the physiological and emotional symptoms is not easy, and there are no quick fixes.

Jim Folk, president of The Anxiety Center, suggests that by reducing stress, practicing deep breathing, increasing rest and relaxation, and making sure to exercise daily, our bodies can recover from stress responses sustained and, therefore, tension in the body. our bodies should dissipate.

I know that in my case, my feelings of anxiety will likely continue to appear like uninvited guests. But the next time I start to feel tension in my body, I plan to stop, breathe, and then try to understand why I’m reacting in such a physical way.

By addressing underlying emotions and triggers, I hope to find healthy ways to manage my anxiety and prevent it from taking over my body – or at least prevent it from causing another spasm in the lower from the back. It’s a journey, but I’m willing to take it to control my anxiety and live a more balanced, peaceful life.

Deanna Bugalski is an Australian reality TV storyteller and fabulously chaotic mom of three, who writes about human interest topics, travel, entertainment, mental health and the struggle to juggle everyday life with a healthy dose of humor.