New couple in town expects a warm welcome, neighbors remind them they’re not in a blockbuster movie

Owning a little house in the countryside sounds like a dream, right? Gorgeous views, peace and quiet, and a close-knit community where everyone looks out for each other.

That’s exactly what a London couple had in mind when they bought a seaside holiday home. Eager to settle down, they went out of their way to meet all the neighbors and got as many friends as possible.

But life doesn’t really feel like a Hallmark movie, and their overenthusiasm didn’t work well. Today, the residents no longer know what to do with this family that they cannot support.

Read on for the full story and expert advice from world-renowned etiquette consultant Jo Hayes on the do’s and don’ts of getting along with the neighbors.

More info: Mumsnet

A London couple bought a new house and made it their mission to make friends with all their neighbors.

Image credits: halfpoint / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

But life isn’t a Hallmark movie, and their overenthusiasm didn’t work well.

Image credits: benzoix / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: IMustConfess

Expert advice

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Bored panda spoke with Jo Hayes, world-renowned etiquette expert, consultant, lifestyle commentator and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org, to get her take on the matter.

“While I appreciate this couple’s sincerity and initiative, it seems they are moving a little too hard, too fast, in their efforts to build connections and community in this village,” Hayes told us. “When it comes to building relationships, it’s easy.”

“Anything that seems too pushy or too forceful turns people off,” she said.

Hayes noted that rural villages like these are often home to residents who have lived there for decades, or in some cases, their entire lives. These communities typically have long-standing friendships, established customs, and unspoken norms about how things are done.

As a result, they may be cautious, or even downright suspicious, of newcomers, especially those who arrive with too much enthusiasm.

In this case, the etiquette expert recommends approaching the premises at a reasonable and gradual pace.

Start small. Introduce yourself to a few neighbors, maybe two or three, and ask about local events or activities. “But don’t behave in a way that suggests you expect to become everyone’s best friend in a week,” Hayes advised.

“Authentic connections and a sense of community take time,” she added. “Once you’ve been a part of the area for a while and have naturally built relationships with others, it’s time to consider hosting a dinner party or getting together with a few locals.”

Remember to maintain healthy boundaries. “Don’t expect neighbors to give you their cell phone number right away,” Hayes said. “If and when you have established a sufficient connection to exchange numbers, do not abuse this privilege: text or call sparingly.”

“Don’t do what this woman did: send a message to her neighbor to let him know she arrived safely. This kind of behavior implies a level of closeness that doesn’t exist and gives the impression of crossing boundaries.

A friendly wave when passing in the street is perfectly neighborly. No need to stop and chat every time you pass each other.

“Use common sense, common wisdom and intuition to assess the state of mind of neighbors and the city,” Hayes concluded. “Again, take it easy. Strong winds destroy things. A gentle breeze is pleasant and makes people feel safe and comfortable. Aim to be the gentle breeze.

While some readers thought the couple was too strong, others felt they should have been given a chance.

The article New couple in town expects a warm welcome, neighbors remind them they’re not in a blockbuster movie first appeared on Bored Panda.