Trudeau, Trump and the Mar-a-Lago march towards a tariff war

In a few years, historians will look back on the 2025 war with Canada as one of the stupidest diplomatic failures.

It started innocently enough in December 2024, when Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau visited President-elect Donald Trump at his Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach.

Prior to the meeting, normally friendly relations between the two countries had become strained after Trump announced on social media that once in office he would issue an executive order imposing a 25 percent tariff on Canadian goods entering the United States. United.

Trump said the tariffs would continue until Canada stopped the flow of drugs and undocumented migrants across the border.

Trudeau immediately flew to Florida to speak face-to-face with Trump, who was barred from meeting in Canada due to that country’s immigration law, which bars convicted felons from be authorized to enter Canada.

Despite Trudeau’s generous accommodation, the two leaders clashed verbally over dinner, when, according to others present, Trump made a wild accusation that free trade with Canada was “ripping off” the United States. United about $100 billion a year.

Trump also reportedly said that if Trudeau didn’t like the proposed tariffs, Canada could become the 51st U.S. state and Trudeau could be its governor.

The editorial pages of Canadian newspapers did not let the insult go unnoticed. As Trump’s inauguration approaches, both countries are preparing for the worst.

Here is a timeline of events leading up to the war:

January 20 — Trump is sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. As promised, he issues an executive order imposing 25 percent tariffs on all Canadian products entering the United States.

January 21 — Canada retaliates by imposing tariffs on American exports, including trucks from Michigan, whiskey from Kentucky and cheese curds from Wisconsin.

January 22 — The stock market collapses with the news that Matt Gaetz has been named special envoy to Ottawa.

January 25 — Trump denounces Canada while playing on his West Palm Beach golf course. “That’s all,” he said. “I will no longer let Canada be an American state. We will instead ask Greenland, very soon, so I can tell you. I’ll have something on this in two weeks.

January 27 — In a clear escalation of hostilities, Trudeau announces that Canada will no longer grant asylum requests at its border to American migrants who voted for Kamala Harris.

February 5 — The United States is deporting the entire population of Briny Breezes in Palm Beach County, calling it an illegal sanctuary city overrun by a foreign gang known as the Putin Cartel.

February 12 — Trump issues executive order changing the name of Canadian bacon to Freedom bacon.

February 19 — Golden Corrals and other all-you-can-eat buffets in Florida are closing after losing Canadian customers to the snowbird purge.

February 22 — Axios reports that staffers working for special envoy in Ottawa Matt Gaetz say he appears more focused on staying in Canada to explore that country’s age of consent, which is 16 .

February 24 — A US Navy carrier strike group is conducting provocative war exercises in the coastal waters of Nova Scotia.

March 1 — The price of maple syrup triples.

March 13 — Fox News reports that about two dozen Floridians were taken hostage in Toronto.

March 14 — Kid Rock’s song “Free the Dang Hostages” goes viral on TikTok.

March 15 — Trump expels Justin Bieber, Celine Dion and entire band Arcade Fire in response to the hostage story developing in Toronto.

March 17 — The Toronto Blue Jays cancel the remainder of the team’s spring training season in Dunedin due to death threats.

March 18 — Drake cancels his world concert tour in American cities.

March 20 — The American hostages in Toronto are back in Florida, safe and sound.

The New York Times reports that the “hostages” identified by Fox News were in fact the Florida Panthers hockey team who were in Toronto overnight to play the Maple Leafs.

March 21 — Trump’s FBI Director Kash Patel orders New York Times publisher arrested on treason charges.

March 22 — Trump issues “hockey travel ban,” saying: “We need to completely and utterly ban hockey travel until we understand what’s going on.” »

March 25 — First lady Melania Trump, lonely and absent, makes her first public appearance since the inauguration to announce her determination to launch a peace initiative.

She appears outside her New York apartment to say she and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will spend a long weekend together at a secluded private resort on the Mediterranean island of Ibiza to see if the two countries can find a way become. together.

March 27 — Melania’s peace efforts are praised by the United Nations, the World Trade Organization and Maxim magazine.

March 29 — President Trump doubles down on war rhetoric against Canada at rally in West Virginia. He accuses Canada of sending transgender girls to play sports in American high schools.

April 2 — A large gathering of anti-war protesters in Washington, D.C., turns deadly after Trump orders U.S. soldiers to shoot anti-war protesters in the legs.

April 6 — Greenland says “no thanks”.

April 14 – The United States is hit by double-digit inflation. Joe Biden took the blame.

April 16 — Incident on the high seas when an American destroyer forming part of the strike force off the Atlantic coast of Canada is temporarily neutralized by the fishermen’s lobster traps.

Trump accuses Canada of engaging in a “brutal war on shellfish” and demands an apology and/or reparations in the form of a large order of Gold All-Star Elite Trump high-top sneakers.

April 17 — Forces are placed on alert around the Niagara Falls demilitarized zone.

April 19 — President Trump orders Canadian border closed minutes after Elon Musk tweets that American boys who go to Canada return to the United States as girls.

April 24 — The price of a dozen eggs reaches $10. The LaBatt Blue six-pack hits $20.

April 29 — Trudeau goes to Mar-a-Lago in gold Trump high-top sneakers. Rumors of a peace agreement abound.

April 30 — Peace talks are temporarily stalled due to a double-booking of the Mar-a-Lago conference room for a wedding.

May 1 — The two countries agree to abandon customs tariffs. The deal was sealed with the loud broadcast of a recording of “YMCA” by The Village People.

October 9 — Melania Trump wins the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize.

Frank Cerabino is a columnist for the Palm Beach Post, part of Gannett Newspapers.